


Frumpkin's Quest

by Rainsong



Series: Found Family Part II, or, The Mighty Nein [2]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: (in a nice fluffy way), Baking, Comfort Food, Domestic, Domestic Fluff, Family, Family Fluff, Food, Food as a Metaphor for Love, Found Family, Frumpkin-centric, Gay Disaster Beauregard Lionett, Good Friend Yasha (Critical Role), Multi, POV Animal, POV Frumpkin, POV Third Person Limited, Present Tense, Silly, Team as Family, Xhorhas (Critical Role), Xhorhouse (Critical Role), Yasha is a Softie (Critical Role), episode 97 spoilers, it's just domestic fluff that could go either way, it's so silly y'all, my years of writing warrior cats fanfic were leading up to this moment, none of the shipping is really explicit, this is about FRUMPKIN and his NEEDS
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-03
Updated: 2020-08-03
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:55:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25691665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rainsong/pseuds/Rainsong
Summary: Frumpkin may be an immortal fey spirit, but he's also just a cat. And when Caleb doesn't want to play with him, he has to bother the rest of the Mighty Nein until he finds someone who does. (Spoiler alert: It's Caduceus)Featuring riveting content such as Fjord doing laundry, Veth taking a nap, and the Nein getting Xhorhasian takeout.Like it says in the tags, there's some light shipping stuff going on, but only if you squint. This isFrumpkin'sday and he doesn't care.
Relationships: Beauregard Lionett & Yasha, Beauregard Lionett/Yasha, Caduceus Clay & Fjord, Caduceus Clay & Frumpkin, Caduceus Clay/Fjord, Essek Thelyss & Caleb Widogast, Essek Thelyss/Caleb Widogast, Fjord & Frumpkin (Critical Role), Frumpkin & Beauregard Lionett, Frumpkin & Caleb Widogast, Frumpkin & Essek Thelyss, Frumpkin & Jester Lavorre, Frumpkin & Nott | Veth Brenatto, Frumpkin & The Mighty Nein, Frumpkin & Vedalla, Frumpkin & Yasha (Critical Role), Jester Lavorre & Nott | Veth Brenatto, Jester Lavorre/Beauregard Lionett, Jester Lavorre/Beauregard Lionett/Yasha, Jester Lavorre/Yasha
Series: Found Family Part II, or, The Mighty Nein [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1863178
Comments: 29
Kudos: 167





	Frumpkin's Quest

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to [Ella](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rakukajas) for beta-reading.
> 
> If you'd like to follow along with Frumpkin's journey, there's a map of the Xhorhaus on the [wiki page](https://criticalrole.fandom.com/wiki/The_Xhorhaus).
> 
>  **Trigger warnings:** None, unless you're really bothered by cats and weasels being manhandled.

Frumpkin headbutts Caleb’s shoulder.  _ Pay attention to me. _

“Hello, Frumpkin. Oh, no, no, no, please—” says Caleb, and Frumpkin finds himself being squeezed around the middle and plopped on the floor. He huffs. What did he do wrong? He jumps up on Caleb’s lap again, and Caleb’s hands stroke his back, blocking him from getting on the desk again. His hands smell like ink.

“Should I put him out?” asks Essek.

_ Nooooo _ , Frumpkin wants to yell.  _ Let me sit with you! _

“ _ Ja _ , I’ve got it. I’m sorry, Frumpkin, but we can’t get footprints on this scroll,” says Caleb. Once again, Frumpkin is being picked up. He struggles and manages to wriggle out of Caleb’s grasp—in the training room. The study door shuts. Frumpkin sits and stares at the closed door, sending angry telepathic feelings to Caleb, but he doesn’t get a response.

Well. If that’s how it’s going to be, Frumpkin will find someone else who wants him.

There’s sound coming from the kitchen. Frumpkin decides to go there first. Maybe he can get a treat.

“How much sugar do we need?” asks Yasha.

“Uh. Uhhh…” says Beauregard. She drops a dish towel to the floor as she scans the recipe book.

“A quarter of a cup.”

“That’s it?”

“Wait. No. A quarter of a cup of  _ brown _ sugar. So half a cup.”

“There’s more than one kind of sugar?” asks Yasha.

“ _ Can I have some? _ ” asks Frumpkin.

“Hello, Frumpkin,” says Yasha. “Do you know where the brown sugar is?”

Frumpkin flicks his tail. He does, but he insists on quid pro quo. He crouches, wiggles his rear end for a moment, and leaps onto the counter. He’s surprised to find his feet coated in white powder. He sits down and tries to lick it.  _ Bleh. _ Beauregard laughs at him, but  _ she _ has it all over her face. Frumpkin is much more dignified.

“I don’t know if Jester will like cat hair in the cookies,” says Yasha.

“There’s cat hair everywhere in this house,” points out Beauregard. Frumpkin huffs. It’s not his fault! He’s just marking his territory. Stepping tentatively towards where Beauregard is mixing ingredients, he spots a bowl with eggs in it. Excited, he reaches a paw into it and—

“No!” says Beauregard, and Frumpkin finds himself pushed off the counter. The bowl overturns and clatters, but doesn’t fall down. “Ugh…” groans Beauregard.

“Don’t worry, we have more eggs. I’ll clean it up,” says Yasha. “Go on, Frumpkin, go bother Caleb.”

_ I already tried that, _ thinks Frumpkin. He still wants a treat (it’s been  _ hours _ since he ate) but he also wants very badly to clean the icky white stuff off of him. He bristles at Yasha and leaves the kitchen.

He sits for several minutes on the dining table, carefully licking his feet clean and trying to ignore the bad taste. Satisfied, he leaps down and continues his trek, back into the hall and then up the stairs, past the hot tub. Vedalla is sweeping the stairs. He rubs up against her, and she squats down to pet him for a moment before continuing her work. He respects that.

Upstairs, Fjord’s door is ajar. Frumpkin pokes his head in. Fjord has a basket on his bed and is folding clothes. The basket has just enough room for Frumpkin...

Fjord laughs at him. Frumpkin settles in, watching him just over the lip of the basket.

“Sorry, Frumpkin, I gotta fold my shirts,” said Fjord, and—how  _ dare _ he!—he pulls one of the soft things from underneath Frumpkin. Frumpkin grabs at it.  _ No! _

“Hey, hey! Don’t rip it! This is my favourite shirt! Frumpkin!”

Fjord squeezes his foot, forcing him to let go. He bites at Fjord’s hand instead.

“Ow! No, Frumpkin, bad!”

_ I’m not bad. I want to play. Pay attention to me. _

Fjord tips over the basket, spilling Frumpkin onto the floor, undignified. Fjord pushes him out of the room with his foot, and the door shuts.

Well. Three more people to go.

Jester isn’t in her bedroom. Frumpkin finds her in the war room, instead. He meows at her in greeting.

“Oh, hi, Frumpkin! Do you want to help me with my painting?” asks Jester. She scoops him up and holds him above the table. There’s a large sheet of paper covered in paint. Sprinkle is sitting at the other end of the table, his front feet covered in blue paint, and there are tiny weasel footprints all over the paper. Without asking, Jester dips Frumpkin’s front paw in green paint, and sets him on the paper.

“ _ I don’t like this at all, _ ” says Frumpkin, panicked. He feels the paint smearing and the paper ripping as he dashes off the table, leaving more paw prints on the floor in his wake.

“Oh, no. Sorry, Frumpkin…” says Jester, sadly, but he’s already making his way towards Veth’s room.

She’s napping. Frumpkin jumps up, landing next to her face.

_ Play with me _ , he thinks, tapping her on the face with his clean foot.

“Mmph. Frumpkin. Hi,” she mumbles.

_ Play with me. _

“Come nap with me,” she says. She wraps an arm around him and pulls him into the blanket. It’s nice and warm, but Frumpkin doesn’t want to nap. He kicks at her arm, wanting to be set free. She lets him go.

“Not now, Lumpy, I’m trying to sleep.”

A gust of wind from the window blows the door shut with a sudden slam. Frumpkin jumps and fluffs himself up. Veth chuckles at him and strokes his head.

“It’s just the wind. Come on. Let’s nap.”

Frumpkin doesn’t want to, but now he can’t leave. He settles down at the foot of the bed, paws tucked up under him, and wills the door to open again. When that doesn’t work, he tries sending angry messages to Caleb. When  _ that _ doesn’t work, he tries to bite Veth’s feet, but she tucks them into the blanket where he can’t reach them. He settles back in, grumpy. Eventually, he must doze off, because he’s awoken by the door finally opening, accompanied by a nice smell.

“Veth! Do you want a molasses cookie?!” asks Jester.

“Yes please!” says Veth, sitting up.

“Beau and Yasha made them for me,” says Jester, and even Frumpkin can tell she’s flushed with excitement about that part.

“For you?” asks Veth. “That’s so romantic!”

“I know!” says Jester. She sits on the bed, kicking her feet out excitedly as she offers Veth a cookie. Frumpkin yawns and stretches, reminding them that he’s there.

“Do you want some, Frumpkin?” asks Jester, offering him a piece of her cookie. He sniffs it, and tentatively eats it. It doesn’t taste bad, it’s nice and warm, but he doesn’t know what all the fuss is about. It’s not as good as fresh meat.

The door is now open, and Veth and Jester are too caught up in their conversation to pay attention to him, so Frumpkin slinks out of the room with a wave of his tail. Vedalla is in the war room now, washing the windows, and she nods at him in acknowledgement. He blinks at her. She gets it. He makes his way into the hall. Fjord’s door is open again, but he’s not in there. The only person he hasn’t tried yet is Caduceus, and if he’s not in the kitchen, he’s probably in the garden.

The people usually get up with the ladder, but it’s a little tricky for Frumpkin, so he climbs the bookshelf next to it. The last leap is difficult—he’s missed it before—but Frumpkin is determined. He crouches low, wiggling, calculating, and launches himself up. He catches the wooden edge of the trapdoor, but he’s slipping.

“I got you,” says Caduceus, and Frumpkin finds himself being picked up by the scruff and deposited gently on the moss. He shakes his fur down.

“How are you doing, Frumpkin?” asks Caduceus.

“ _ I’m bored. Nobody wants to play. _ ”

“Uh-huh. I get that.”

“Are you talking to the cat?” asks Fjord. Frumpkin hadn’t noticed him. He’s sitting cross-legged a few feet from Caduceus, drinking tea. He’s wearing a clean shirt—the one Frumpkin had wanted to play with.

“Of course,” says Caduceus. “Don’t you?”

“Yeah, but he doesn’t answer.”

“He does, if you pay attention.”

_ I sure do! _

“Here,” says Caduceus, and he stands up, reaching for something behind him. Suddenly, finally, there’s a  _ toy _ in front of Frumpkin. His eyes grow wide with excitement. He crouches low on the moss, tail flicking, eyes watching the little bundle of feathers move like a bird. He launches at it, teeth sinking into the feathers and flesh and he’s caught a bird! He’s caught a wonderful snack and he kicks it and— Caduceus pulls it away.  _ Hmph. I’ll get it next time. _

He hears Caduceus and Fjord laughing at him as he hunts, but he tunes it out. They don’t understand. After taunting him  _ forever _ , Caduceus finally breaks the string on the toy and lets him have it. Satisfied, Frumpkin carries it off to a corner to kick at it for a while. He has to make sure it’s dead.

When he’s done, he sends an image of this to Caleb.  _ Look.  _ Caduceus _ plays with me.  _ He  _ doesn’t kick me out. _

“I’m sorry, Frumpkin, you can come back now. We finished the scroll,” says Caleb, in his head, but Frumpkin is happy here. There’s lots of bugs to watch and grass to munch and Caduceus knows  _ just _ where to scratch his ears.

It’s weird in Rohsona. The sky never really changes, but Frumpkin knows it’s getting late (he always knows exactly what time it is), and that normally his people would be going downstairs for dinner. It’s Folsen, which means they usually get food delivered. Yuyandl and alligator kebabs. Caleb always gives some meat to Frumpkin, and Jester lets him lick the spoon of her keltaly when she’s finished, even though it sometimes gives him a tummyache. Fjord and Caduceus are still in the garden, though. Caduceus has been very careful not to disturb Frumpkin, who is dozing on his lap, as he braids Fjord’s hair, talking so softly Frumpkin can barely understand.

“Caduceus? Fjord? Dinner is here,” says Caleb, his head appearing at the trapdoor. Frumpkin stretches, and trots over to greet him.

_ I’m still angry at you, _ he tells him, but he headbutts Caleb’s forehead anyway.

_ I know. I love you, though, _ Caleb replies.

“We’re coming,” says Fjord, pulling himself up from the ground.

“Come on, Frumpkin, let’s go have dinner,” says Caleb, scooping him up.

_ Caduceus is very, very nice. He played with me and let me nap on him _ , he tells Caleb.

_ Is that so? _

_ I’m not even mad at Fjord even though he didn’t let me play with him. _

_ That’s good. Are you still mad at me? _

_ Is there kebab? _

_ Always. _

_ I guess not. _

Essek and Vedalla join them for dinner, Frumpkin gets  _ two _ whole pieces of kebab (Sprinkle only gets one), and Caduceus doesn’t even tell him no when he puts his paw in his tea. It’s a good day, after all.

**Author's Note:**

> The recipe Beau and Yasha are making is one I've made before (they're doubling it), which you can find [here](https://www.bonappetit.com/recipe/chewy-molasses-cookies) if you happen to also be craving molasses cookies. Some of the foods mentioned at the end are taken directly from Explorer's Guide to Wildemount, and are described as follows:  
> "Yuyandl—grilled yuyo (a zucchini-like vegetable that grows in Rosohna’s sunless gardens) spiced and served with rice"  
> "Keltaly—heavy cream mixed with pulverized black currants and frozen into a fluffy, sweet, creamy dessert"  
> I've actually had (fried) alligator several years ago, before I became a vegetarian, when I went to Florida, and I liked it. I don't know if it would actually be good in kebab form, lol.  
> I was going for a vaguely Indian/Middle-Eastern food vibe (hence kebabs) since my favourite takeout is falafel. I think Jester would be a big fan of baklava.


End file.
